apodosis

The Downwardly Mobile Christian Leader

2007-02-05T11:56:00.000-08:00

“Powerlessness and humility in the spiritual life do not refer to people who have no spine and who let everyone else make decisions for them. They refer to people who are so deeply in love with Jesus that they are ready to follow him wherever he guides them, always trusting that, with him, they will find life and find it abundantly.”

- Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus

I have been thinking about what it means to be a good and distinctly Christian leader, a leader after the example of Christ. I first read Henri Nouwen’s book, In the Name of Jesus, over ten years ago. I was in the midst of a great spiritual struggle and growing frustrated with my current church and felling like I was at a dead end in my Christian walk.

The great challenge of this book for me it the idea that the true Christian leader is not to consider his place at the head of the table, at the place of honor, but, rather, at the place of servitude. He is to consider himself last and the lowest priority. He exists only for the purposes of serving and equipping the Christians under his care for living the Christian life. He is to be the humble servant of all.

But he must also remember that humility and meekness does not equal weakness and deference. The Christian leader is to lead Christians and to do so with the confidence and passion that Christ modeled for us. The Christian leader is to be fearless before men and absolute in his convictions (in so much as they have their source in Scripture). Acts 4 gives us a good model of the bold Christian Leader. Peter and John answer the Jewish rulers boldly having put themselves in harms way for the sake of a lame beggar.

The Continuum of Church Purity

2007-01-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

In my Church History class last Friday, my professor, Dr. Sean Lucas, gave us a description of how church history has been viewed with in terms of the purity of the church. He drew a simple line graph on the chalk board. The horizontal variable was a simple time line starting with the apostles and the early church. The vertical variable was supposed to be a measurement of the purity of the church. So when he started drawing this graph the level of purity was very high during the apostolic early church period, and the level of purity dropped off during the age of Constantine. It went in the tank during medieval Catholicism and rocketed upward as Luther and Calvin appeared…and so on.

The PCA and many other Presbyterian denominations we formed because of a concern for the purity of the Church. They saw the main line Presbyterian Church being compromised by a view that rejected fundamental Christian doctrines, things like: the deity of Christ and his resurrection, and the inerrancy of Scripture. The line was in the tank again or at least very quickly headed that direction. There are those who are concerned that the PCA’s line is once again headed downward and they are publicly decrying what they perceive as a compromise of the sanctity of scripture and the purity of Christ’s Church as it is manifested in the PCA.

I do not believe that my brothers are wrong for expressing their concerns. I believe that they do so out of a love for the Church and as Pastors of God’s people. They are protecting their flocks as any good pastor should. God bless them.

The specific issue that is fueling the debate recently is egalitarian feminism. There are those who believe that Covenant Seminary (where I am currently a student) and her President Dr. Bryan Chapell (and others in the PCA) have taken a position that is contrary to scripture regarding a woman’s role in the church. To further clarify, the question is not, “should women be ordained as teaching or ruling elders?” But the question is better stated, “Can a non-ordained woman participate in the life of the church in every way that a non-ordained man can?” Can a woman read scripture during a worship service or pray aloud during a worship service? Can a woman sit on or even chair a committee in the church? To my knowledge, no one is arguing for the ordination of women as teaching or ruling elders in the PCA.

What concerns me is that there is little or no charity being given by those who fear the church is under attack from what they view as a “feminist” position. It seems as if there is no room for debate on an issue that is totally debatable! We are making an essential out of a non-essential. What is worse, the debate is becoming shrill and unbecoming of the Bride of Christ.

Converting to the Ministry

2007-01-29T08:21:00.000-08:00

There is a conversion taking place in my heart in and in my mind; which is strange because there hasn’t been too many of those over the years. I don’t remember when I actually converted to Christianity probably because, being very young, I never actually had anything to convert from. I do remember a moment of revelation about God’s grace and my sin that I had many years ago, but even that wasn’t a true conversion from anything. That experience didn’t so much as change my thinking as it gave the things I already thought more substance and weight. It took my theology from the compartment I kept it tucked away in and turned it loose in the ugliness of the mess I made for myself. But none of that addresses the true conversion I am in the midst of right here and now. My thinking is being challenged, and deepened. If this were an article in a Business Management magazine I would use phrases like, “paradigm shift” to describe what is going on.

I spent four summers of my (rather lengthy) undergraduate career working at a youth service project camp in East Tennessee. We recruited most of our new staff from our past campers, and often the fist year staffers would have a hard time adjusting because they wanted to revert back to being a camper again rather than take on the responsibility of a leader. We were constantly on the lookout for symptoms of a “camper mentality” in our first year staff. I think a lot of this current conversion is my own moving away from a sort of “camper mentality” to a “ministry mentality.” By mentality I mean not just my thinking but also the doing that is a result of my thinking. Preparation for ministry has been a process of refocusing my energies on becoming a servant in God’s Church; thinking about others first and putting others first. My time in seminary has not been just about learning things about the Lord, but letting those things shape me in a way that affects how I view the Lord’s people.

Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” This process of converting to a ministry mentality is fundamentally about the Gospel. I am discovering my place “in Christ” for the work of the ministry of his Gospel.

Sometimes You're the Windshield, and Sometimes You're the Bug

2006-10-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

I won’t say it stunk, but it definitely wasn’t my best sermon ever. My text was Exodus 14:10-14. If you don’t happen to have a Bible handy I’ll just tell you that the text is about how God fights for his people. Specifically the text is the narrative of the time just prior to the crossing of the Red Sea. The people of Israel have fled to the desert and are pursued by the Egyptian army when they find themselves trapped between the chariots of the Egyptians and the impassable sea. God says to them, “I will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Apart from a few structural and technical mistakes I made the development of my sermon; my delivery wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. Part of the problem is my own prayer life. E. M. Bounds says, "The character of our praying will determine the character of our preaching. Light praying will make light preaching. Prayer makes preaching strong, gives it unction, and makes it stick. In every ministry weighty for good, prayer has always been a serious business."

On the positive side, I had a great experience this afternoon going on a couple of home visits with the congregational care pastor at Central Pres., Lance Hudgens. We took Communion to two of our church’s shut-in members. In both cases there were live-in caregivers who joined us. It was such a cool thing to be able to deliver such an important part of worship to these people. It was extra special to me to get to help give communion to a man who was a WWII veteran.

It was such a great experience that it totally wiped out all the feelings of defeat and discouragement I still had from my so-so sermon the day before.

“I will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Dim Memories

2006-09-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

There is a dim memory in the back of all intelligent creatures’ minds. It is a deep, deep memory of a time when darkness did not rule the hearts of men and the world did not cry out for answers. It is less than a memory and more of a sense that sometime in the past the world had been altered in a way that made it less than it should be. When he looked at a sunset he had the feeling that he was not looking at sunsets the way they once were. The sunset as it appeared to him now was beautiful and fiery, it had all the right colors, the right effects. He breathed heavily as he stared watching the sun slowly make its way below the horizon. If the sunset seemed less than ideal to him, the problem was in his own heart. He realized after a moment that he was not paying close enough attention to the event he came to observe. His stomach sent a spasm of acid into his throat and he felt the urge to double over in convulsive cries. He concentrated instead on the sight in front of him and put aside the real reason for his coming to this point to watch another day slowly die away.

He stood there for a long while after the golden red crown of the sun had dipped below the distant green hills. Below him spread the entire countryside. The only town for miles lay in the valley below laid out like a pastoral scene. Lights were beginning to come on as the sun’s own light faded. The only thing anchoring the idyllic scene to the rest of the world was the barely visible line of the road as is broke out of the trees and followed the run of the valley to the north. There was no Lord’s house to dominate the landscape, no stately manor house to give an outsider the sense that this land and its people had any real purpose or for that matter any identity. But he knew these people. He was one of these people. Perhaps that is why his grandfather had laid this last task before him. It was his grandfather’s dying wish that he come to this spot and stand watch over the ending of the same day that began with the sudden ending of his grandfather’s life. His stomach churned again as the memories of the morning resurfaced like grubby fingers digging into fresh wounds.
____________________

I wrote this just today after a talk I had with a friend from school. We were just encouraging each other to write more creatively since all we ever write here are academic papers and sermons. Anyway, we'll see where this goes.

This have been kind of tough here. For the first time we have not had the money in the bank to pay my whole tuition at the beginning of the semester, and on top of that we have had over $1k in unexpected car repairs in the last two weeks alone. The Lord is good however and money comes in the mail unlooked for. It really does!

I am reminded as I am working on my first sermon for class this semester that the Lord fights for his people! We have only to be still and see the salvation the Lord is working out for us.

Hebrew, My First Sermon, and a New Cellphone

2006-08-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well, now that the summer is almost over I thought I should post and update you all on what has been going on in our lives. We have been quite busy this summer. Kathryn has started a new job teaching ballet at the Day Spring School for the Arts, I went on a trip with the Middle School and had a blast.

The biggest project for me this summer has been an attempt to teach myself Hebrew. Yeah…that’s right, me the language-tard trying to learn an utterly alien tongue. It has been hard and the progress has been slow. I doubt I will be able to test out of the Hebrew class like I had hoped but at least I will have a good head start on the vocabulary and some of the grammar.

I also had an opportunity to preach for a real live congregation for the first time in July, and it was a wonderful experience. I preached from Psalm 44 for the people of Hope Community Church here in St. Louis. The majority of the congregation is Korean speaking but they have an English service as well on Sunday mornings. Our neighbors, Trent and Emily Casto are in charge of the English service and Trent invited me to preach one week while he was on vacation. The Lord and the people there were very kind to this preacher-noob.

I also finally broke down and got a cell phone. Exciting.

Cause/Effect: Because God has given to us the Mosaic Law, we must regard the Law as good and perfect.

2006-05-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

The Law of the Lord is not always seen a good thing that God has given to humanity. The Mosaic Law as seen by Luther is a “Mighty Hammer” which crushes the self-righteous spirit of humanity and conditions the flesh of the Christian to submit to righteous living according to the mandates set forth in the Law. The Mosaic Law under Luther’s view is largely seen as a negative force in the lives of humanity rather than a positive agent. Under the Lutheran view of the Law the Law does act to bring people to the savior but only as a result of their failure to positively fulfill the requirements of the Law. Its action is the negation of all the self righteousness found in humanity. Calvin’s view of the Mosaic Law is as a positive agent working toward the same goal of leading people to understand their need of Christ. Calvin says that the Law is like a mirror which shows us how we fall short of meeting the Godly standard. The Law is good and useful for the Servant of God, Calvin says, “by frequent meditation upon it to be aroused to obedience, be strengthened in it, and be drawn back from the slippery path of transgression (2.7.10).” Certainly the Bible regards the Mosaic Law as good and perfect. Psalm 19:7-11 is an example of a truly Biblical view of the Mosaic Law. According to the Psalmist, “The law of the Lord is perfect,” and it is, “sweeter also than honey and drippings from the honeycomb.” The law is called perfect and sweet because it was given to us by God and it sets for his children a standard of behavior which is reflective of God’s own character. The standard is not a human one but a divine standard. The case law which flows from the apodictic law are examples and scenarios of how God’s children are to regard worship, one another, and the rest of the world. When we see the law as a negative force in the life of the believer, we are really seeing God’s character as a negative. We should view the law not as a condemnation of our failures only, but also view the law as coming with grace. Calvin says of the Christian, “He lays hold not only of the precepts, but the accompanying promise of Grace, which alone sweetens what is bitter (2.7.12).” The practical implication of this is that the believer has confidence and assurance that the Mosaic Law no longer hold any sting of condemnation, for Jesus has borne that on our behalf, but it does still hold the sting of conviction of sin. That conviction, however, is forgiven by the Grace of Christ and we may be thankful for the Law and it’s painful but accurate reflection of God’s perfect character upon our fallen lives.

Cause/Effect: Because of God’s common grace, all of humanity contributes positively to the world.

2006-04-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

In his grace to all humanity God has blessed his creatures with creativity and wisdom. We are his creatures and all of us have within us the kernel of the image of God. The world of art is an important indicator that God has blessed some with talents and insight in to using materials and images to contribute in a very positive way to the rest of the world. Creative talent is given to believers and non-believers alike. God is creative, he is the ultimate creator and that kernel of his image that resides in every man and woman is what gives to humanity their desire to imitate God in his creative endeavors. Just as the creation of the world expresses God’s character and nature so to is human creativity self-expressive and reflexive of the image of God which is part of God’s common grace. The same is true for much of human wisdom (Proverbs 8:1-4). It is no coincidence that throughout history much of human wisdom and philosophy has been geared towards the explanation of God and the human search for God. The image of the True God cries out in human hearts such that we are constantly seeking him through wisdom and philosophy. The evidence of Genesis 1:27 is seen not only in the arts and philosophy but in our everyday lives as well. We love our children and we naturally want to provide and care for them so that they might have a good future and a happy present (Luke 6:32-33; 11:11-13). I know that my parents sacrificed greatly for my sister and me when we were growing up so that we could get a good education and be prepared for our lives. In times of war stories of soldiers heroically giving up their lives are almost commonplace, although their sacrifices for one another are not commonplace in the least. This is another example of how God’s common grace is alive in the hearts of humanity, and by giving their lives for their comrades they contribute greatly not only to the causes for which they are fighting but also in the lives of the ones for whom they have sacrificed (Rom. 5:7). Despite the effect of the Fall, humanity nevertheless has and does contribute positively to the world in which we live. The kernel of the image of God is still at work and is evidence of the common grace of God’s hand at work in the hearts and minds of all people everywhere.

Cause/Effect: Because God has revealed himself to humanity through Christ, we may know him.

2006-03-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

Couched within Christ’s High Priestly prayer is the expression by him that we, being all members of God’s elect church, might know God and that we might also know him (John 17:3). This is the ultimate expression of the idea that God seeks after his children to have relationship with them. It is the expression in prayer by Christ of the many parables of the kingdom taught during his preaching ministry. God is seeking and desiring to have us know him so much so that he would become human; that he would incarnate himself and enter into our flesh. It is because he has done this thing, revealed himself to us in Jesus Christ, that we may know him. This knowing happens on multiple levels. First, we may get to know the character and nature of God through the earthly life of Christ. By his teaching and works Christ reveals the character and nature of the Father. Christ’s teaching reveals an ethic which he calls his disciples to live out (i.e. the Sermon on the Mount). Christ’s kindness and mercy to the poor, healing of the sick and fellowshipping with sinners reveals the character of God as he seeks to save and redeem his children. Secondly, we may get to know the character and nature of God by the inward ministry of the Holy Spirit. A major thrust of Christ’s High Priestly prayer is his prayer that we become one with God (John 17:21). He prays this saying that he will “continue to make known” to us the name of God. Which I take to mean that even now, the Spirit of God is at work in my heart teaching, convicting and conforming my character to reflect God’s character. In this way Christ’s teachings, example, and Spirit work in the lives of the Children of God to make him known as we see him reflected in our own character which is being transformed more and more into his likeness.

Keeping Up

2006-03-15T06:35:00.000-08:00

I am just now comming out of a very busy time in the semester. Midterms pile up on work and other work and Kathryn-time. The good side is that I have had some free-lance 3D work which has given us a nice winfall of money. Kathryn needs to go to England for a wedding this September and I need to pay for Summer classes, so this extra work has really been a blessing. God is good in the things he has provided Kathryn and me. We are very thankful for all that the Lord has given us.

One other item of note: there has been an awful lot of baby discussion in our house recently...that is all.

Three Couches, One with Christ (Conclusion)

2006-02-27T10:11:00.000-08:00

It was the blessing of the Father that led me to the conversation that took place on that second couch where I first met my wife. This blessing did not come as a result of my exceptional growth or attentiveness to my relationship with the Lord. This blessing, and all blessings, came from the Father because I have been adopted as his child and heir through union with the Son (Romans 8:15). Just as I am united with Christ in his death I am united to him through his resurrection and new life. God, because of his goodness and love for me as his adopted son, saw fit to bless me with a wonderful wife. God is not a partial father handing out blessings to his few favorite super-saints. As Horton put it, “What kind of father shares himself and his possessions with only a few favorites and withholds his best from others? Perhaps some would answer, ‘It's not a matter of the generosity of the father, but of the children's willingness to receive.’” Horton says that our union with Christ and our adoption as heirs is not a result of our decision to receive, but of Christ’s sovereign decision.

My relationship with my wife serves as a model of the relationship Christ has with his covenant people, the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 says that Kathryn and I have become “one flesh.” This is obviously figurative language since we are still two quite unique creatures. It does mean, however, that our lives are irreversibly intertwined in such an intimate fashion that there is sometimes no telling where the business of Ashley Dusenbery leaves off and Kathryn Dusenbery picks up. In the same way, as God sees it, there is no telling where the business of the Church leaves off and the business of Jesus picks up. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that when God looks at his Church all he sees is the righteousness of Christ.

If our blessings come to us not as a result of our merit but because of our adoption as heirs through our union with Christ, so then does our ability to endure trials also come to us through our union with Christ. It was on that third couch that we sat worrying about my mother’s health. It was not the operation itself that worried us; just the news of cancer had been enough. Cancer is a word that has the ring of finality to it. It is not so much a medical disease as it is a notification of eviction. Out were all our notions of stability and routine and in were chemo, and blood work and white counts and good days and bad days. My whole sense of who my mother was changed, from her external appearance to her point of reference as a person. You don’t just get cancer and not be changed by it. Cancer changes you and everyone around you. It was through this time that I believe God truly demonstrated to me the evidence that I have been adopted as his son through this union with Christ.

God demonstrated this to me through his disciplining hand in my life during my mother’s sickness. I don’t mean disciplining as a part of punishing me, but rather a conditioning to lean on his grace and strength. Hebrews 12:7 says, “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom the father does not discipline?” Ferguson says that, “Discipline is intended to produce holiness of life and character – a quality of life that is pleasing to God, because it shares in his own holy nature.” Murray’s perspective is that we are able to endure these trials and grow from them because we are tied to Christ and the disciplining we endure is for our edification. It certainly was so with my mother’s sickness. Today she is cancer free and we have all been strengthened in our faith because of the trials we under went together. J. I. Packer in his book, Rediscovering Holiness, calls God’s discipline “Spiritual Alchemy.” “Christ will take the lead weight of our trials and perform his "supernatural alchemy" to transform them into the tempered steel of tested character. And God will be greatly glorified.”

Although it should not have been, this great theology of Union with Christ was new to me. I guess in a way it was not new theology but a new way of expressing what I have believed all along. As I hope I have demonstrated, it has changed the way I view the things in my past which I consider to be formative events. Union with Christ has enriched my view of God’s grace and his forgiveness, the way in which he has dealt ultimately even with my most egregious sin. Union with Christ has enriched my view of the great blessings with which he has blessed me. Finally, Union with Christ has clarified the way in which I am to struggle in trials, confident that Christ is my past, present, and future.

One of My Heroes.

2006-02-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

Major Richard Winters from the HBO series Band of Brothers is one of my heroes. His leadership and inspiration of his men as told in both the TV series and the book by Stephen Ambrose has influenced me in my own view of leadership and ministry.

There is a scene in the TV series that takes place just before the men boarded the planes that would take them across the English Chanel and to Normandy, Winters is depicted helping each individual trooper in his stick to his feet. I don't know if that was fictional or not but it illustrates the attitude with which he approached his position and the men under his command.

Richard Winters said this about leadership in an August 2004 interview:

"The qualities you are looking for in a leader include: Does the individual have the respect of the men? How do you get the respect of the men? By living with them, being a part of it, being able to understand what they are going through and not to separate yourself from them. You have to know your men. You have to gain their confidence. And the way to gain the confidence of anybody, whether it's in war or civilian life or whatever, you must be honest. Be honest, be fair and be consistent. You can't be honest and fair one day, and the next give your people the short end of the stick. Once you can achieve that, you will be a leader.

It's a matter of adjusting to the individual, and you do this every day. You don't have just one way of treating people; you adjust yourself to who you are talking to. I might talk to one person one way, someone else another. Ambrose had spent a good deal of time thinking about leaders and leadership. He had it about right. If you have character, that means the guy you are dealing with can trust you. So when you get into combat, and you get in a situation such as we were in along the dike in Holland, when I gave the orders, "Ready, aim," and this cook who had been in the unit only a short time but was experiencing his first combat action interrupted and said, "Don't talk so loud!" nobody else there was thinking about anything except what he had been told to do. They trust in you, have faith in you and they obey right now, no questions asked."

In my mind this speaks to a fundamental Christian Doctrine. We are all bearers of the image of God. Winters speaks of respect and character and confidence. These are all characteristics of one who has in mind the idea that those we lead are created in the image of God. Whether we are leading volunteer Youth workers, our employees, or whether we are leading someone to faith in Christ. One must lead with respect for the other as a creature made in the image of God.

Spring Semester Underway..

2006-01-31T07:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, the new semester is off to a roaring start. Here is my current class schedule:

Apologetics and Outreach
God and Humanity
Gospels
Elementary Homiletics Practicum
Covenant Theology II
God's World Mission

God's World Mission and Covenant Theology II are my two theology classes. Those classes kinda blow my mind.

My Holliday Photo Essay

2006-01-13T19:09:00.000-08:00

This is Paducha. She is our neighbor's dog. She likes to run around alot.

Sometimes I think her eyes are going to pop out. We kept her over break while our neighbors were out of town. I'm glad they came home.

This is my wife Kathryn, she didn't like the present I gave her. PWNT!! >__<
That is Kathryn's sister, Tootie. She's a meth junkie. :(

Here we are. me, Kathryn, Tootie (aka Mary Emily), and James (Tootie's fiance). Tis a merry Christmas indeed.

This is Kathryn's cousin Abby, she made the mistake of telling me she didn't want her picture taken.

She eventually gave in...

This is Hanna, Abbey's older sister. She is actually sort of sane.

For New Years My family came to visit. That's my dad in the front. He always looks like he has gas in pictures for some reason.

This is my little sis, Jenny. She was only born with 2 dimensions. If she was to turn and face you she would disappear.

My Brother in law, Joe has the same photo-aversion as Abby. That's our Christmas tree in the background, $20 from Home Depot.

Finally, our dog Dakota on his new Christmas bed and his new Christmas Woffie Dog.

Three Couches, One with Christ (Part 2)

2006-01-05T11:08:00.000-08:00

Since the experience of that first couch, the Lord has taken me from a place of sin and rebellion, to a place of a deeper understanding of the truth of his Gospel and dependence on him for everything. It was my ignorance of the Union I share with Christ that lead me to sin, but it is that same Union that also led me to a place of grace and blessing. Later that Union helped as my family struggled with sickness and trial. Sinclair Ferguson, in his article in Christian Spirituality: Five Views of Sanctification says that, “we share one bundle of life with Christ in what he has done. All that he has accomplished for us in our human nature is, through union with him, true for us and, in a sense of us.” What this means is that my past, present, and future is tied not to my life but to Christ’s life in me.

Forgiveness of sin is always a hard concept to grasp. What I mean is that I say that I believe God forgives my sins, but I don’t really believe that he totally removes my sins from me. I think that in the back of my mind I still believe that somewhere, deep in the basement of hell there is a filing cabinet (or two or three….or more) that still holds the records of my sins. It is easy to imagine that God forgives sins, but is it somewhat harder to imagine that God forgets sins. My understanding of Romans 6 and similar passages has been fundamentally changed and my reading of it deepened by the certainty that my sin has been destroyed through union with Christ and his crucifixion. Romans 6:7 says that our sin has been “brought to nothing.” Our sin has been destroyed. That is a hard thing for me to grasp.

I tend to think of the process of sanctification as some sort of mighty self-help plan that God has for Christian to make them better, more well balanced people. Evidence of this is that we see growth as a function of addition. What can we add to our lives that will make God love us more? The person at church that is involved in the most is obviously more spiritually mature than the person who is only involved in only a few things. Michael Horton says that, “It is important to realize that Christ does not come to improve the old self, to guide and redirect it to a better life; he comes to kill us, in order to raise us to newness of life.” Colossians 2:11-12 says, “In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision not made by hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism.” What is this circumcision of Christ, this putting off of the body of flesh? Murray says that it is the “transformation which occurs when we are actually united with Christ in the effectual operations of grace. It is the translation from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of the Son of God's love that Paul has in mind.”

Let me give you a little more information surrounding couch number one. For about three years prior to that I had become tired of the Church. We were attending a United Methodist church in the suburbs and I just began to basically get bored with Christianity. I kind of felt like I had maxed out as far as my spiritual growth was concerned. I didn’t feel like our current church could take me any farther, any closer to God. Part of what I felt was legitimate. The Church I was in was very works – based and didn’t offer the deep level of Christian teaching I was longing for. The more significant part of what I felt, however, was from my own rebellion against God, and I used the valid issues with our Church as a rationalization for my rebellion. As my last year of college came to a close I met Melissa and we began the physical relationship that would eventually end up with the aforementioned conversation on the couch in Nashville, and ultimately ended with her decision to abort our baby.

The fundamental truth that I have learned through this very painful and tragic episode (even haunting) in my life can be summed up in the words of a Hymn: “My sin, oh the bliss of the glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord oh my soul!” Romans 6:14 says, “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Because I have been united to Christ in his death my sin has been brought to nothing. Murray says of this passage, “Paul is dealing with the believer's death to sin. `We died to sin' thus is Paul's thesis. He is dealing with death to sin as an actual and practical fact; shall we not say existential fact? He brings within the scope of this statement not merely the guarantee or the promise of death to sin, but its realization in the life-history of the believer.” As a maturing believer, I am no longer a slave to my sin. This means not only the sin that I am tempted to do in the here and now, but the sin which I have done, no matter how egregious, cannot hinder me in my further walk with the Lord. This is a great promise!

As I sat in the chair after having received communion at my new church home and we sang the last stanza to It is Well With My Soul, I realized that the Lord’s forgiveness was mine and that my great sin was indeed crucified with Christ. It was well with my soul, “For the one who has died has been set free from sin.”

John Stott says that, “To be in Christ means much more than receiving a new status; it also means receiving a new life.” This freedom from the bondage of sin which is ours in Christ has given us a new life in growth and blessing in Christ. “If we are Christ',” Stott says, “God both redeems us through his Son and regenerates through his Spirit. He not only makes us his sons and daughters, he puts within us that Spirit of his Son, who begins to transform us in Christ's image.” This transformative power which is ours in the Spirit of Christ does not work to immediately remove from us our propensity to sin, but it gives us weapons for struggling against sin. Michael Horton says that because we have had the righteousness of Christ imputed to us, we have been seated with him in the heavenly places. This is true no matter our seniority in the kingdom if God. It is not some special reward reserved only for the spiritually mighty. It is a spiritual reality for all who are in Union with Christ. Because we are one with Christ, we have been adopted by the Father and are eligible to receive from him “every spiritual blessing” which is in Christ Jesus. In his book, Children of the Living God, Sinclair Ferguson says that the new birth we experience means that we “come to share in the risen life and power of Jesus Christ, and enter into vital fellowship with him.”

Merry Christmas from us!

2005-12-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

We're not the types to send out cheesy Christmas cards with our family picture on them but here you go anyway. Merry Christmas!

Three Couches, One With Christ (Part 1)

2005-12-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

The first couch was in my friend’s apartment in Nashville in 1998. I had moved there after I finished my undergraduate degree, but now after only a month I sat on the couch with a girl that I had been seeing before I left Memphis. I’m not sure what sort of reaction she expected when she told me the news, but I am sure that she did not expect the first words out of my mouth to be, “abortion is not an option.” It wasn’t the most sensitive and reassuring thing to say and I’m sure it didn’t do anything to instill in her a sense of comfort. She was pregnant and she had driven four hours to tell me in person the news, and I just sat there issuing moral decrees surrounding the results of my own failure. I immediately packed my things, threw them in the back of the truck and drove with her back to Memphis.

The next couch was in a coffee bar near the University of Memphis in 2002. I had just been introduced to a very pretty young lady named Kathryn Wray. Kathryn and I shared a few mutual friends and it just so happened that those mutual friends drug us both out on a Saturday night to hear some guy with a guitar that was apparently playing up on the stage. I wasn’t paying any attention to him. My attention was focused on Kathryn. She was sweet, attractive, easy to talk too, and she demonstrated a level of devotion to the Lord that was instantly noticeable. On our first date we just talked the whole time. By our second date, I was sure that she was the woman I wanted to marry.

The third couch was in a waiting room at the Baptist Memorial Hospital for Women in 2004. This time I was seated on the couch between my wife, Kathryn, and my dad, Steve. We were waiting for the nurse to come out and tell us that my mother was out of surgery and in the recovery room. My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was in surgery undergoing a radical mastectomy. More than three months of chemotherapy was to follow. Despite the trauma of having this procedure and the horrible thought of facing nearly constant sickness and nausea from the chemo, my mom was in good spirits. She was ready to have the cancer removed from her body.

Exams!!!

2005-12-13T07:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-22T15:38:00.000-08:00

Big plans tonight!

2005-11-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

Not really, but I've still been looking forward to tonight for a long time. Here's the plan: dinner with the Oteys at 6 and then we're all off to go see the Goblet of Fire. Kat and I have become huge Harry Potter nerds. We've both finished all six books and have loved the movies so far. This latest looks to be the best of the lot. It'll be nice to spend some time with BJ and Robin too. We haven't really had the chance since we've moved here.

The Real-Life Economic Repercussions of Successful Adventuring

2005-11-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

Click on the above image to view it full size.

The Peaceful Fruit of Righteousness

2005-11-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

In Chapter 8 of his book Children of the Living God, Sinclair Ferguson discusses the function of Discipline in the life of the child of God. He says that, “Discipline is intended to produce holiness of life and character – a quality of life that is pleasing to God, because it shares in his own holy nature.” By this I took him to mean that God’s hand of discipline upon those who he has adopted as children is intended to help in our sanctification. His discipline helps us to become more God-like. Likewise our attitude toward God’s discipline will reflect our attitude toward holiness. If we eagerly desire to be holy before God we will welcome His disciplining hand.

This discipline which makes us holy is not always a diving thumping for some specific sin on my part. It is often a struggle or trial that God places in our lives with the purpose of driving us to rely on and draw our strength and joy from Him. If our attitude towards this process of becoming holy is not favorable we will fail to grow in Christian maturity and our lives will lack the “marks of God’s workmanship.”

Ferguson draws from Hebrews 12:10-11 in describing the way by which our live yield this “peaceful fruit of righteousness” as the writer calls it. I think that we should examine verses 12 & 13 of Hebrews 12 as well, “(12) Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, (13) and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.” If verses 10-11 provide us with the indicatives regarding this use of suffering by God, then verses 12 & 13 must, at least partially, provide us with imperatives for how we are to live in light of suffering.

We are not to be merely passive recipients of God’s disciplining. Instead, we are to seek within the painful circumstances of that discipline the lessons for greater holiness and dependency upon God. Interestingly, verse 13 seems to be a warning to us that failure to have a positive attitude towards suffering leading to holiness can actually cause harm to us rather than provide healing growth. My mother is a wonderful, godly woman and a breast cancer survivor. Last year while undergoing treatment I saw her suffer greatly and, at times, despairing, but the one thing she kept reminding herself (and all of us) of is that God works all things for our good. Today she is healthy and cancer free. It is kind of strange to hear her speak of the cancer now as if it was almost an old friend (an old friend we never want to see again). There is a sense of fondness in remembering that time, not necessarily for the cancer its self, but for the days and months during which we were all driven to rely on God. Today my mother bears more prominently the marks of God’s workmanship by his loving discipline.

What time is it? It's gyro o'clock!

2005-10-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

The Greek midterm exam is over and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Anyway, that is over and I'm glad. On to the next thing...my theology paper.

Seriously... >__<

2005-10-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

Inner and Outer Peace by Gregory of Nyssa

2005-10-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

"We must not allow hostility to rise up in our hearts; it must be killed absolutely and permanently. We should never give way to anger or nurse grudges, because this would threaten our souls. And, above all, we must never act on these feelings, as this will only fan the feelings into an ever greater blaze. We bear the name of Christ, who is peace. For this reason we are called to put an end to all hostility. In every situation where people are divided, Christ can breakdown the wall which separates them, and make peace. Thus when people attack us, we should, through prayer, invite Christ to reconcile us with our attacker. But we can only do this if we ourselves are free from all hostile feelings. So our spirit and our flesh are not in conflict. When we are at peace within ourselves, then Christ can work through us to make peace with others."

Gregory of Nyssa
From A Treatise on Perfection

This is a selection from one of the readings from my Ancient and Medieval Church History class that I found very convicting as an American Conservative Christian in 2005. I'm not exactly a pacifist and I'm not sure quite where to stand in the current conflict in Iraq. Anyway, I'm interested to hear what some of you have to say about this selection as it relates to the current war in Iraq. Is this reading even applicable? Is it convicting to you, particularly if you are an American?

Dr. Robert Smith and the J.R. Wilson Preaching Lectures

2005-10-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

Robert Smith is an associate professor of Divinity at Beeson Divinity school and he is preaching right now. Yesterday he preached at chapel and it was one of the best sermons I have ever heard. He spent about 2/3 of the time dealing with the text and his subject in the hermeneutical sense and the last third just tearing it up (homiletically). He uses that Sing-song style where his voice got very lyrical and he followed each sentence with a sort of grunt/laugh, “heh.” I felt kind of bad because I am sure that if he hadn’t been preaching to a chapel full of white-bread Presbyterians there would have been dancing in the isles and “amen’s” all around.

Today is an event at Covenant called the J. R. Wilson preaching lectures. Each year a guest lecturer is brought in to show us how it is done. Classes are canceled for the day and everybody goes into the chapel and listens to lectures on homiletics all day. Dr. Smith is the guest lecturer this year. I admit that I was planning on using the day to play catch up on some other work that I need to get done, but now that I am here and Dr. Smith is teaching I am much more interested in listening to his lecture than in anything else.

Ouch! My frikkin' arm hurts...

2005-10-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

OK so I have a slight case of tennis elbow. Although it's not really tennis elbow per se because, well, I don't play tennis. It is lateral epicondylitis brought on by long-term, repetitive thumb movement.... I have , video game elbow.

The only cure for video game elbow is to go in every six months or so and get a nice big cortisone shot. I went in yesterday after my arm got so bad that I could hardly straighten it. The Doc hit my tendon with a huge dose of medicine delivered in what has to be the most painful shot in medical history. To get the medicine wher it needs to go he has to stick the needle right down into the tendon. He hit the mark and I blacked out.

Today my arm feels like a truck back over it, but it takes a day or two for the medicine to do it's thing. I should be back to playing Chaos Theory by Sunday.

Pandering to my constituents...

2005-10-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

Dealing with the schedule of a very full semester has been hard on my ambitious Blogging plans. I'll try to post more short, sometimes silly, usually pointless, things more regularly and get in one or two longer more serious and thoughtful pieces in per month.

I realize that not everything needs to be a great work of writing and that many people just want to know how my day was or something.

"Theologizing"

2005-09-12T07:20:00.001-07:00

I didn't even know that "theologizing" was an actual word until about 2:30 this afternoon. I had heard others say the word "theologizing" so I was aware that it existed as a combination of letters which formed syllables which lots of people then inserted into conversations when trying to sound smart, but as for it's actual official entry into the English language, albeit as jargon, was still unknown to me. Wouldn't that be like verbifying a noun?

An Equal Insight

2005-09-07T14:08:00.000-07:00

I haven’t really taken the time to point out the little section just to the right of the main posting frame which is titled “Cause/Effect.” I guess the reason why I haven’t taken the time is because, well, it’s pretty obvious what that section is set apart for. It’s where I put the obligatory Bible verse. I say obligatory not out of scorn for the Bible or even because it might seem to be an overly obvious element for a blog that is defiantly coming from and evangelical Christian point of view, but I say “obligatory” because of the sincere desire to ever frame my thoughts and expressions in a way that prominently features scripture within its frame work.

1 John 2:11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

You can never begin to know anything about anybody unless you first seek to care about them in some way. That is why events like the ones of the past week generate a sense of nation unity and even community. It is at these times (usually only at these times) when our hearts extend to those with whom we may have very little in common and find there not just a fellow countryman but perhaps even a brother or sister, because in our compassion for them we are extending not just a hand of help but an equal insight into our lives and burdens.

As we give sacrificially, we take upon ourselves a portion of a burden that was not placed directly on our shoulders. By willfully and compassionately entering into the burdens of another we acknowledge a very personal truth that all share which is this: We are all broken at some level.

New church decision...

2005-08-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

I guess finding a new church to call home is never an easy task although for Kathryn and I it wasn't an unpleasant one. Lots of prospective member luncheons help ease the burden a bit.

I've been relishing the almost unprecedented freedom I have in being a prospective member. I mean, nobody wants you do DO anything. Heck, they won't even let you get your own coffee much less drag you into a room of 3rd graders and tell you to "start teaching!" It's nice being new, nobody expects anything from you and everybody is willing to give to you.

Anyway, our new church is Crossroads Presbyterian Fellowship and it is a plant of Covenant Pres. They just bought an existing church building and last Sunday was their first Sunday in the new (new to us) building. It's an exciting for this young church, not just because the Dusenbery’s are joining.

Nothing more than animals...

2005-08-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

I guess if you want to get your point across this is a good way to do it.

Take eight attractive men and women, put them on display in a London Zoo, and put up a sign saying "Warning: Humans in Their Natural Environment." Soon you'll get the attention of the press and the public. Here are a sample of quotes from people who have visited the display. See if you can spot the trend...

"Seeing people in a different environment, among other animals ... teaches members of the public that the human is just another primate."

"A lot of people think humans are above other animals. When they see humans as animals, here, it kind of reminds us that we're not that special."

"I've lived in this country for nine years and have never come to a zoo. Humans are animals too!"

"They're not doing anything. It looked lots better on the news."

And my personal favorite:
"You can tell why some people came here, like the big muscly men who clearly like parading around in thongs."

Two things:

Sitting in an old bear paddock in your swimsuit is not what I'd consider a "natural environment" since humans have developed something no other animal has...progressive society (i.e. we're smart enough to build zoos and capture other dumber animals to put on display).
Why attractive people? Why not pick human specimens that are the zoological equivlivilent of the other animals at the zoo, fat, lethargic sods who get winded bending over to grab the remote off the coffee table.

5 Days Untill Class Starts!

2005-08-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

Neighbor Leaving for Afghanistan

2005-08-25T06:48:00.000-07:00

Chris Allen, is one of the guys I met this summer in my Beginning Greek class. He also lives at Gulf Drive. About halfway through the course this summer he was called up for active duty and was told that he would be going to Afghanistan. His first child is due in October. So, he'll miss the birth and most, if not all, of the first year of his child's life.

Please pray for him, his wife and baby this year, and remember that there are many like him over there. He leaves Sept. 11.

The Gentle Jolt of a Covenant

2005-08-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

At potential new church family #2 (a.k.a. Crossroads Pres.) there was a baptism Sunday morning. Enter mom, dad, and pastor. Throw in cousins, grandparents and great grandparents. Add still cameras, video cameras, one with a really large, really annoying flash. Let us not forget one sleeping cherubic baby baptizee in a white gown who slept through almost the entire ceremony.

She slept through the explanation of baptism and God's covenant relationship with his people. The whole, "I will be your God and you will be my people," thing. She slept through her parent’s vows and the congregation's vows to bring her up in a manner that is pleasing and honorable to God. She slept through being passed from mother to pastor, and through being show around the room as the pastor talked about the meaning of covenant and the purpose of this sacrament. She even slept through the large annoying flash of her great grand father's camera. There was one element of her baptism, her very own baptism, that she couldn't ignore: the Water.

Great glops of it hit her forehead and she jolted awake. Rudely roused from her peace by splashes of water, it was easy to ignore all the words, the handling, the grown up voices, even the parental paparazzi. What was hard to ignore was the elemental intrusion of water on head. Water, that means that she is set apart by a covenant of love and will one day be roused once again by these same people to choose for herself.

"I will be your God and you will be my people," is the offer that is on the table.

"The Deep Breath Before the Plunge"

2005-08-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of all the things I did today:

Played World of Warcraft
Ate leftover Chinese food
Watched The Two Towers
Went to Best Buy and helped my neighbor, Jim, pick out a wireless router.
Helped said neighbor set up his wireless router
Played more World of Warcraft
Took a nap
Ate pizza
Watched Return of the King
Wrote this....

Please note the complete lack of studying done today.

It's nice not to have to worry about a class for a couple of weeks. Although I am looking forward to starting the fall semester, I am going to enjoy these next two weeks. This is as Gandalf says in the movie, "the deep breath before the plunge," before papers and reading and, yes, even more Greek.

Cheers!

Famous last words...

2005-08-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

....well, that wasn't so bad.

Basement full of poo...

2005-08-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

One of the nice things about our apartment here in St. Louis is that it has an enormous basement that has been partially finished. We have a study space and a guest room down in the basement as well as our laundry area. It's really my favorite part of the house since it's dark and cool and quiet.

Last night, however, our apartment manager came over and asked us to not flush the toilets or let any water out of the drains at all because apparently the sewer lines have backed up. Thankfully it hadn't backed up into our basement that much since we are higher up the sewer line than some of our neighbors.

Todd and Emily, who live two doors down from us has a basement full of raw sewage! They have a brand new baby and their master bedroom is in their basement. You can imagine the horror of finding a few extra gallons of poo in your bedroom. Not to mention the fact that you don't want your baby around all that nastiness either. Babies make enough poo as it is.

Greek final exam tomorrow!

2005-08-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

...and I'm feeling pretty good about it, that scares me. I'm not supposed to feel this good about what is supposed to be one of the hardest tests of my seminary career.

The translations will be from John's Gospel and I John. I can pretty much read I John in Greek. Every so often I'll hit a verse that snags me, but I'm ok with the epistle. The gospel is a little more difficult, just because of the vocabulary that I don't know (but I'm not responsible for knowing). If I choke on this test it is going to be on the parsing portion, that always gets me.

Anyway, after Thursday night life will be a little bit better.

Cheers!

Behold, the fruits of our prosperity!

2005-08-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

They say that as a society increases in prosperity it begins to produce more art and other cultural works because as prosperity increased so does demand for art. It has something to do with economics and stuff which I have no interest in what so ever.

Thus, 21st century society has so increased in prosperity that we have created the technology that would allow us to bring forth such staggering works as the image in this post. I mean, I am a very experienced with digital imaging software such as Photoshop and I can tell you that there was some hours put into creating the bird/thing you are now looking at. It's good work. Well done mystery artist.

I would love to be able to claim credit for this creation for several reasons:

It would mean that I am a highly talented Photoshop artist
and that I have a great eye for character creation
and that I am either financially much better off because I have hours to devote to such a pointless thing (or unemployed)

The skills employed by the artist responsible for this image are some of the same skills that are building the foundation of popular culture today. The ability to manipulate pixels is one of the most powerful technological advancements of popular culture (just behind the actual invention of the pixel, of course).You might even go so far as to say that this image represents pop culture its self.

America, this little bird/thing is your soul...

I'm not a Geek. I'm a level 22 mage.

2005-08-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine had a t-shirt made with this motto printed on the front and I thought it was a classic statement of sheer flag-waving geek pride!

Cheers!

Why all children should be required to read Harry Potter

2005-08-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

Having recently inducted my self into the Hall of Harry Potter Geeks, a depth of geekdom I had until recently left unplumbed, I feel that a few things need to be pointed out about the worldview of the books, and address what some well-meaning Christians see as a promotion of real world witchcraft and occultism.

If you don't know the premise behind Harry Potter....get stuffed. Go read 'em. But briefly: Harry = wizard, Lord Voldemort = evil wizard, Dumbledore > all wizards, Percy is a prat. (If you don't know what a prat is....you're probably not British. Apparently it is a really great put down for uptight suck up yes-men which I shall endeavor to use more in the future.)

So why all the fuss about books that really are nothing more than great stories? Well, for starters there are apparently a lot of prats in the Christian world. No surprise there, Christians are not perfect, and it is easy to see that a little Samuel Paris still lingers so long after Salem.

Some objections about the books are:

The obvious use of the words "Witch" and "Wizard"
Descriptions of subject matter learned by the young characters particularly: "Divination" (It should be pointed out that except of a couple of occasions the Divination class it treated like something of a joke)
Darker subject matter especially as the stories and plots progress
It's about witchcraft...I mean come on! EVIL!
The books give children an unrealistic view of how witchcraft works in the real world

The above arguments hold water in my mind only if the reader is under the impression that the way witchcraft and magic works in the real world is in any way related to what goes on at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Which, of course, it is not, and anybody intelligent enough to read through several 700 page books is sure to understand.

There are some really great themes in the Harry Potter books that need pointing out. These theme point to a worldview that is more similar to a Christian ethic that to any thing a modern day witchcraft or Wicca would teach.

The good guys are really good and the bad guys are really bad. Tolkien-esque romanticism at its finest
There is sacrificial love displayed amongst the protagonists in almost every book. (i.e. Ron sacrifices himself in the chess game in Sorcerer's Stone so that Harry can proceed and triumph)
Ethics and morality are upheld by the protagonists. Study habits, sportsmanship (i.e. quiditch), no foul language (apart from a few "hells", a "prat", and a "git" -which I shall also endeavor to add to my vocabulary-) friendship, & loyalty
**Possible Spoiler** With out giving anything away in the most recent book: there is emerging a definite image of a Christ-like character....

In the end I think too much is being and has been made of the setting of this magical world where the stories of Harry Potter takes place. We need only to read the books as simply very good stories, which they are.

Welcome

2005-08-15T11:51:00.000-07:00

This is the obligatory welcome post. Please consider yourself welcomed and feel free to gaze at the wonderful template blogger.com has provided for me, a first time blogger.

Just to the left of this fabulously wonderful bit of welcome text you will notice a very ugly dog and it's crazed owner. Feel free to utter "WTH?" or choke on your sandwich or whatever you usually do to express disgust, shock, outrage, or righteous indignation.

In the future I hope to fill this blog with crap that I think is important to me. I may be wrong at times. So what. This crap may include but is not limited to: griping about school, witty observations on life, cutsey pictures of members of my family, outrage at the world's injustices, theological rantings, and incoherent babblings.

I appreciate your time and attention in these and many more matters. I look forward to interacting with you all in the socially safe and risk-free manner that the internet provides.