Sometimes You're the Windshield, and Sometimes You're the Bug

I won’t say it stunk, but it definitely wasn’t my best sermon ever. My text was Exodus 14:10-14. If you don’t happen to have a Bible handy I’ll just tell you that the text is about how God fights for his people. Specifically the text is the narrative of the time just prior to the crossing of the Red Sea. The people of Israel have fled to the desert and are pursued by the Egyptian army when they find themselves trapped between the chariots of the Egyptians and the impassable sea. God says to them, “I will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Apart from a few structural and technical mistakes I made the development of my sermon; my delivery wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. Part of the problem is my own prayer life. E. M. Bounds says, "The character of our praying will determine the character of our preaching. Light praying will make light preaching. Prayer makes preaching strong, gives it unction, and makes it stick. In every ministry weighty for good, prayer has always been a serious business."

On the positive side, I had a great experience this afternoon going on a couple of home visits with the congregational care pastor at Central Pres., Lance Hudgens. We took Communion to two of our church’s shut-in members. In both cases there were live-in caregivers who joined us. It was such a cool thing to be able to deliver such an important part of worship to these people. It was extra special to me to get to help give communion to a man who was a WWII veteran.

It was such a great experience that it totally wiped out all the feelings of defeat and discouragement I still had from my so-so sermon the day before.

“I will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Dim Memories

There is a dim memory in the back of all intelligent creatures’ minds. It is a deep, deep memory of a time when darkness did not rule the hearts of men and the world did not cry out for answers. It is less than a memory and more of a sense that sometime in the past the world had been altered in a way that made it less than it should be. When he looked at a sunset he had the feeling that he was not looking at sunsets the way they once were. The sunset as it appeared to him now was beautiful and fiery, it had all the right colors, the right effects. He breathed heavily as he stared watching the sun slowly make its way below the horizon. If the sunset seemed less than ideal to him, the problem was in his own heart. He realized after a moment that he was not paying close enough attention to the event he came to observe. His stomach sent a spasm of acid into his throat and he felt the urge to double over in convulsive cries. He concentrated instead on the sight in front of him and put aside the real reason for his coming to this point to watch another day slowly die away.

He stood there for a long while after the golden red crown of the sun had dipped below the distant green hills. Below him spread the entire countryside. The only town for miles lay in the valley below laid out like a pastoral scene. Lights were beginning to come on as the sun’s own light faded. The only thing anchoring the idyllic scene to the rest of the world was the barely visible line of the road as is broke out of the trees and followed the run of the valley to the north. There was no Lord’s house to dominate the landscape, no stately manor house to give an outsider the sense that this land and its people had any real purpose or for that matter any identity. But he knew these people. He was one of these people. Perhaps that is why his grandfather had laid this last task before him. It was his grandfather’s dying wish that he come to this spot and stand watch over the ending of the same day that began with the sudden ending of his grandfather’s life. His stomach churned again as the memories of the morning resurfaced like grubby fingers digging into fresh wounds.
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I wrote this just today after a talk I had with a friend from school. We were just encouraging each other to write more creatively since all we ever write here are academic papers and sermons. Anyway, we'll see where this goes.

This have been kind of tough here. For the first time we have not had the money in the bank to pay my whole tuition at the beginning of the semester, and on top of that we have had over $1k in unexpected car repairs in the last two weeks alone. The Lord is good however and money comes in the mail unlooked for. It really does!

I am reminded as I am working on my first sermon for class this semester that the Lord fights for his people! We have only to be still and see the salvation the Lord is working out for us.

Hebrew, My First Sermon, and a New Cellphone

Well, now that the summer is almost over I thought I should post and update you all on what has been going on in our lives. We have been quite busy this summer. Kathryn has started a new job teaching ballet at the Day Spring School for the Arts, I went on a trip with the Middle School and had a blast.

The biggest project for me this summer has been an attempt to teach myself Hebrew. Yeah…that’s right, me the language-tard trying to learn an utterly alien tongue. It has been hard and the progress has been slow. I doubt I will be able to test out of the Hebrew class like I had hoped but at least I will have a good head start on the vocabulary and some of the grammar.

I also had an opportunity to preach for a real live congregation for the first time in July, and it was a wonderful experience. I preached from Psalm 44 for the people of Hope Community Church here in St. Louis. The majority of the congregation is Korean speaking but they have an English service as well on Sunday mornings. Our neighbors, Trent and Emily Casto are in charge of the English service and Trent invited me to preach one week while he was on vacation. The Lord and the people there were very kind to this preacher-noob.

I also finally broke down and got a cell phone. Exciting.

Cause/Effect: Because God has given to us the Mosaic Law, we must regard the Law as good and perfect.

The Law of the Lord is not always seen a good thing that God has given to humanity. The Mosaic Law as seen by Luther is a “Mighty Hammer” which crushes the self-righteous spirit of humanity and conditions the flesh of the Christian to submit to righteous living according to the mandates set forth in the Law. The Mosaic Law under Luther’s view is largely seen as a negative force in the lives of humanity rather than a positive agent. Under the Lutheran view of the Law the Law does act to bring people to the savior but only as a result of their failure to positively fulfill the requirements of the Law. Its action is the negation of all the self righteousness found in humanity. Calvin’s view of the Mosaic Law is as a positive agent working toward the same goal of leading people to understand their need of Christ. Calvin says that the Law is like a mirror which shows us how we fall short of meeting the Godly standard. The Law is good and useful for the Servant of God, Calvin says, “by frequent meditation upon it to be aroused to obedience, be strengthened in it, and be drawn back from the slippery path of transgression (2.7.10).” Certainly the Bible regards the Mosaic Law as good and perfect. Psalm 19:7-11 is an example of a truly Biblical view of the Mosaic Law. According to the Psalmist, “The law of the Lord is perfect,” and it is, “sweeter also than honey and drippings from the honeycomb.” The law is called perfect and sweet because it was given to us by God and it sets for his children a standard of behavior which is reflective of God’s own character. The standard is not a human one but a divine standard. The case law which flows from the apodictic law are examples and scenarios of how God’s children are to regard worship, one another, and the rest of the world. When we see the law as a negative force in the life of the believer, we are really seeing God’s character as a negative. We should view the law not as a condemnation of our failures only, but also view the law as coming with grace. Calvin says of the Christian, “He lays hold not only of the precepts, but the accompanying promise of Grace, which alone sweetens what is bitter (2.7.12).” The practical implication of this is that the believer has confidence and assurance that the Mosaic Law no longer hold any sting of condemnation, for Jesus has borne that on our behalf, but it does still hold the sting of conviction of sin. That conviction, however, is forgiven by the Grace of Christ and we may be thankful for the Law and it’s painful but accurate reflection of God’s perfect character upon our fallen lives.

Cause/Effect: Because of God’s common grace, all of humanity contributes positively to the world.

In his grace to all humanity God has blessed his creatures with creativity and wisdom. We are his creatures and all of us have within us the kernel of the image of God. The world of art is an important indicator that God has blessed some with talents and insight in to using materials and images to contribute in a very positive way to the rest of the world. Creative talent is given to believers and non-believers alike. God is creative, he is the ultimate creator and that kernel of his image that resides in every man and woman is what gives to humanity their desire to imitate God in his creative endeavors. Just as the creation of the world expresses God’s character and nature so to is human creativity self-expressive and reflexive of the image of God which is part of God’s common grace. The same is true for much of human wisdom (Proverbs 8:1-4). It is no coincidence that throughout history much of human wisdom and philosophy has been geared towards the explanation of God and the human search for God. The image of the True God cries out in human hearts such that we are constantly seeking him through wisdom and philosophy. The evidence of Genesis 1:27 is seen not only in the arts and philosophy but in our everyday lives as well. We love our children and we naturally want to provide and care for them so that they might have a good future and a happy present (Luke 6:32-33; 11:11-13). I know that my parents sacrificed greatly for my sister and me when we were growing up so that we could get a good education and be prepared for our lives. In times of war stories of soldiers heroically giving up their lives are almost commonplace, although their sacrifices for one another are not commonplace in the least. This is another example of how God’s common grace is alive in the hearts of humanity, and by giving their lives for their comrades they contribute greatly not only to the causes for which they are fighting but also in the lives of the ones for whom they have sacrificed (Rom. 5:7). Despite the effect of the Fall, humanity nevertheless has and does contribute positively to the world in which we live. The kernel of the image of God is still at work and is evidence of the common grace of God’s hand at work in the hearts and minds of all people everywhere.

Cause/Effect: Because God has revealed himself to humanity through Christ, we may know him.

Couched within Christ’s High Priestly prayer is the expression by him that we, being all members of God’s elect church, might know God and that we might also know him (John 17:3). This is the ultimate expression of the idea that God seeks after his children to have relationship with them. It is the expression in prayer by Christ of the many parables of the kingdom taught during his preaching ministry. God is seeking and desiring to have us know him so much so that he would become human; that he would incarnate himself and enter into our flesh. It is because he has done this thing, revealed himself to us in Jesus Christ, that we may know him. This knowing happens on multiple levels. First, we may get to know the character and nature of God through the earthly life of Christ. By his teaching and works Christ reveals the character and nature of the Father. Christ’s teaching reveals an ethic which he calls his disciples to live out (i.e. the Sermon on the Mount). Christ’s kindness and mercy to the poor, healing of the sick and fellowshipping with sinners reveals the character of God as he seeks to save and redeem his children. Secondly, we may get to know the character and nature of God by the inward ministry of the Holy Spirit. A major thrust of Christ’s High Priestly prayer is his prayer that we become one with God (John 17:21). He prays this saying that he will “continue to make known” to us the name of God. Which I take to mean that even now, the Spirit of God is at work in my heart teaching, convicting and conforming my character to reflect God’s character. In this way Christ’s teachings, example, and Spirit work in the lives of the Children of God to make him known as we see him reflected in our own character which is being transformed more and more into his likeness.

Keeping Up

I am just now comming out of a very busy time in the semester. Midterms pile up on work and other work and Kathryn-time. The good side is that I have had some free-lance 3D work which has given us a nice winfall of money. Kathryn needs to go to England for a wedding this September and I need to pay for Summer classes, so this extra work has really been a blessing. God is good in the things he has provided Kathryn and me. We are very thankful for all that the Lord has given us.

One other item of note: there has been an awful lot of baby discussion in our house recently...that is all.

Three Couches, One with Christ (Conclusion)

It was the blessing of the Father that led me to the conversation that took place on that second couch where I first met my wife. This blessing did not come as a result of my exceptional growth or attentiveness to my relationship with the Lord. This blessing, and all blessings, came from the Father because I have been adopted as his child and heir through union with the Son (Romans 8:15). Just as I am united with Christ in his death I am united to him through his resurrection and new life. God, because of his goodness and love for me as his adopted son, saw fit to bless me with a wonderful wife. God is not a partial father handing out blessings to his few favorite super-saints. As Horton put it, “What kind of father shares himself and his possessions with only a few favorites and withholds his best from others? Perhaps some would answer, ‘It's not a matter of the generosity of the father, but of the children's willingness to receive.’” Horton says that our union with Christ and our adoption as heirs is not a result of our decision to receive, but of Christ’s sovereign decision.

My relationship with my wife serves as a model of the relationship Christ has with his covenant people, the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 says that Kathryn and I have become “one flesh.” This is obviously figurative language since we are still two quite unique creatures. It does mean, however, that our lives are irreversibly intertwined in such an intimate fashion that there is sometimes no telling where the business of Ashley Dusenbery leaves off and Kathryn Dusenbery picks up. In the same way, as God sees it, there is no telling where the business of the Church leaves off and the business of Jesus picks up. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that when God looks at his Church all he sees is the righteousness of Christ.

If our blessings come to us not as a result of our merit but because of our adoption as heirs through our union with Christ, so then does our ability to endure trials also come to us through our union with Christ. It was on that third couch that we sat worrying about my mother’s health. It was not the operation itself that worried us; just the news of cancer had been enough. Cancer is a word that has the ring of finality to it. It is not so much a medical disease as it is a notification of eviction. Out were all our notions of stability and routine and in were chemo, and blood work and white counts and good days and bad days. My whole sense of who my mother was changed, from her external appearance to her point of reference as a person. You don’t just get cancer and not be changed by it. Cancer changes you and everyone around you. It was through this time that I believe God truly demonstrated to me the evidence that I have been adopted as his son through this union with Christ.

God demonstrated this to me through his disciplining hand in my life during my mother’s sickness. I don’t mean disciplining as a part of punishing me, but rather a conditioning to lean on his grace and strength. Hebrews 12:7 says, “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom the father does not discipline?” Ferguson says that, “Discipline is intended to produce holiness of life and character – a quality of life that is pleasing to God, because it shares in his own holy nature.” Murray’s perspective is that we are able to endure these trials and grow from them because we are tied to Christ and the disciplining we endure is for our edification. It certainly was so with my mother’s sickness. Today she is cancer free and we have all been strengthened in our faith because of the trials we under went together. J. I. Packer in his book, Rediscovering Holiness, calls God’s discipline “Spiritual Alchemy.” “Christ will take the lead weight of our trials and perform his "supernatural alchemy" to transform them into the tempered steel of tested character. And God will be greatly glorified.”

Although it should not have been, this great theology of Union with Christ was new to me. I guess in a way it was not new theology but a new way of expressing what I have believed all along. As I hope I have demonstrated, it has changed the way I view the things in my past which I consider to be formative events. Union with Christ has enriched my view of God’s grace and his forgiveness, the way in which he has dealt ultimately even with my most egregious sin. Union with Christ has enriched my view of the great blessings with which he has blessed me. Finally, Union with Christ has clarified the way in which I am to struggle in trials, confident that Christ is my past, present, and future.

One of My Heroes.

Major Richard Winters from the HBO series Band of Brothers is one of my heroes. His leadership and inspiration of his men as told in both the TV series and the book by Stephen Ambrose has influenced me in my own view of leadership and ministry.

There is a scene in the TV series that takes place just before the men boarded the planes that would take them across the English Chanel and to Normandy, Winters is depicted helping each individual trooper in his stick to his feet. I don't know if that was fictional or not but it illustrates the attitude with which he approached his position and the men under his command.

Richard Winters said this about leadership in an August 2004 interview:

"The qualities you are looking for in a leader include: Does the individual have the respect of the men? How do you get the respect of the men? By living with them, being a part of it, being able to understand what they are going through and not to separate yourself from them. You have to know your men. You have to gain their confidence. And the way to gain the confidence of anybody, whether it's in war or civilian life or whatever, you must be honest. Be honest, be fair and be consistent. You can't be honest and fair one day, and the next give your people the short end of the stick. Once you can achieve that, you will be a leader.

It's a matter of adjusting to the individual, and you do this every day. You don't have just one way of treating people; you adjust yourself to who you are talking to. I might talk to one person one way, someone else another. Ambrose had spent a good deal of time thinking about leaders and leadership. He had it about right. If you have character, that means the guy you are dealing with can trust you. So when you get into combat, and you get in a situation such as we were in along the dike in Holland, when I gave the orders, "Ready, aim," and this cook who had been in the unit only a short time but was experiencing his first combat action interrupted and said, "Don't talk so loud!" nobody else there was thinking about anything except what he had been told to do. They trust in you, have faith in you and they obey right now, no questions asked."

In my mind this speaks to a fundamental Christian Doctrine. We are all bearers of the image of God. Winters speaks of respect and character and confidence. These are all characteristics of one who has in mind the idea that those we lead are created in the image of God. Whether we are leading volunteer Youth workers, our employees, or whether we are leading someone to faith in Christ. One must lead with respect for the other as a creature made in the image of God.

Spring Semester Underway..

Yes, the new semester is off to a roaring start. Here is my current class schedule:

• Apologetics and Outreach
• God and Humanity
• Gospels
• Elementary Homiletics Practicum
• Covenant Theology II
• God's World Mission

God's World Mission and Covenant Theology II are my two theology classes. Those classes kinda blow my mind.

My Holliday Photo Essay

This is Paducha. She is our neighbor's dog. She likes to run around alot.

Sometimes I think her eyes are going to pop out. We kept her over break while our neighbors were out of town. I'm glad they came home.

This is my wife Kathryn, she didn't like the present I gave her. PWNT!! >__<
That is Kathryn's sister, Tootie. She's a meth junkie. :(

Here we are. me, Kathryn, Tootie (aka Mary Emily), and James (Tootie's fiance). Tis a merry Christmas indeed.

This is Kathryn's cousin Abby, she made the mistake of telling me she didn't want her picture taken.

She eventually gave in...

This is Hanna, Abbey's older sister. She is actually sort of sane.

For New Years My family came to visit. That's my dad in the front. He always looks like he has gas in pictures for some reason.

This is my little sis, Jenny. She was only born with 2 dimensions. If she was to turn and face you she would disappear.

My Brother in law, Joe has the same photo-aversion as Abby. That's our Christmas tree in the background, $20 from Home Depot.

Finally, our dog Dakota on his new Christmas bed and his new Christmas Woffie Dog.

Three Couches, One with Christ (Part 2)

Since the experience of that first couch, the Lord has taken me from a place of sin and rebellion, to a place of a deeper understanding of the truth of his Gospel and dependence on him for everything. It was my ignorance of the Union I share with Christ that lead me to sin, but it is that same Union that also led me to a place of grace and blessing. Later that Union helped as my family struggled with sickness and trial. Sinclair Ferguson, in his article in Christian Spirituality: Five Views of Sanctification says that, “we share one bundle of life with Christ in what he has done. All that he has accomplished for us in our human nature is, through union with him, true for us and, in a sense of us.” What this means is that my past, present, and future is tied not to my life but to Christ’s life in me.

Forgiveness of sin is always a hard concept to grasp. What I mean is that I say that I believe God forgives my sins, but I don’t really believe that he totally removes my sins from me. I think that in the back of my mind I still believe that somewhere, deep in the basement of hell there is a filing cabinet (or two or three….or more) that still holds the records of my sins. It is easy to imagine that God forgives sins, but is it somewhat harder to imagine that God forgets sins. My understanding of Romans 6 and similar passages has been fundamentally changed and my reading of it deepened by the certainty that my sin has been destroyed through union with Christ and his crucifixion. Romans 6:7 says that our sin has been “brought to nothing.” Our sin has been destroyed. That is a hard thing for me to grasp.

I tend to think of the process of sanctification as some sort of mighty self-help plan that God has for Christian to make them better, more well balanced people. Evidence of this is that we see growth as a function of addition. What can we add to our lives that will make God love us more? The person at church that is involved in the most is obviously more spiritually mature than the person who is only involved in only a few things. Michael Horton says that, “It is important to realize that Christ does not come to improve the old self, to guide and redirect it to a better life; he comes to kill us, in order to raise us to newness of life.” Colossians 2:11-12 says, “In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision not made by hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with him in baptism.” What is this circumcision of Christ, this putting off of the body of flesh? Murray says that it is the “transformation which occurs when we are actually united with Christ in the effectual operations of grace. It is the translation from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of the Son of God's love that Paul has in mind.”

Let me give you a little more information surrounding couch number one. For about three years prior to that I had become tired of the Church. We were attending a United Methodist church in the suburbs and I just began to basically get bored with Christianity. I kind of felt like I had maxed out as far as my spiritual growth was concerned. I didn’t feel like our current church could take me any farther, any closer to God. Part of what I felt was legitimate. The Church I was in was very works – based and didn’t offer the deep level of Christian teaching I was longing for. The more significant part of what I felt, however, was from my own rebellion against God, and I used the valid issues with our Church as a rationalization for my rebellion. As my last year of college came to a close I met Melissa and we began the physical relationship that would eventually end up with the aforementioned conversation on the couch in Nashville, and ultimately ended with her decision to abort our baby.

The fundamental truth that I have learned through this very painful and tragic episode (even haunting) in my life can be summed up in the words of a Hymn: “My sin, oh the bliss of the glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord oh my soul!” Romans 6:14 says, “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Because I have been united to Christ in his death my sin has been brought to nothing. Murray says of this passage, “Paul is dealing with the believer's death to sin. `We died to sin' thus is Paul's thesis. He is dealing with death to sin as an actual and practical fact; shall we not say existential fact? He brings within the scope of this statement not merely the guarantee or the promise of death to sin, but its realization in the life-history of the believer.” As a maturing believer, I am no longer a slave to my sin. This means not only the sin that I am tempted to do in the here and now, but the sin which I have done, no matter how egregious, cannot hinder me in my further walk with the Lord. This is a great promise!

As I sat in the chair after having received communion at my new church home and we sang the last stanza to It is Well With My Soul, I realized that the Lord’s forgiveness was mine and that my great sin was indeed crucified with Christ. It was well with my soul, “For the one who has died has been set free from sin.”

John Stott says that, “To be in Christ means much more than receiving a new status; it also means receiving a new life.” This freedom from the bondage of sin which is ours in Christ has given us a new life in growth and blessing in Christ. “If we are Christ',” Stott says, “God both redeems us through his Son and regenerates through his Spirit. He not only makes us his sons and daughters, he puts within us that Spirit of his Son, who begins to transform us in Christ's image.” This transformative power which is ours in the Spirit of Christ does not work to immediately remove from us our propensity to sin, but it gives us weapons for struggling against sin. Michael Horton says that because we have had the righteousness of Christ imputed to us, we have been seated with him in the heavenly places. This is true no matter our seniority in the kingdom if God. It is not some special reward reserved only for the spiritually mighty. It is a spiritual reality for all who are in Union with Christ. Because we are one with Christ, we have been adopted by the Father and are eligible to receive from him “every spiritual blessing” which is in Christ Jesus. In his book, Children of the Living God, Sinclair Ferguson says that the new birth we experience means that we “come to share in the risen life and power of Jesus Christ, and enter into vital fellowship with him.”