Three Couches, One with Christ (Conclusion)

It was the blessing of the Father that led me to the conversation that took place on that second couch where I first met my wife. This blessing did not come as a result of my exceptional growth or attentiveness to my relationship with the Lord. This blessing, and all blessings, came from the Father because I have been adopted as his child and heir through union with the Son (Romans 8:15). Just as I am united with Christ in his death I am united to him through his resurrection and new life. God, because of his goodness and love for me as his adopted son, saw fit to bless me with a wonderful wife. God is not a partial father handing out blessings to his few favorite super-saints. As Horton put it, “What kind of father shares himself and his possessions with only a few favorites and withholds his best from others? Perhaps some would answer, ‘It's not a matter of the generosity of the father, but of the children's willingness to receive.’” Horton says that our union with Christ and our adoption as heirs is not a result of our decision to receive, but of Christ’s sovereign decision.

My relationship with my wife serves as a model of the relationship Christ has with his covenant people, the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 says that Kathryn and I have become “one flesh.” This is obviously figurative language since we are still two quite unique creatures. It does mean, however, that our lives are irreversibly intertwined in such an intimate fashion that there is sometimes no telling where the business of Ashley Dusenbery leaves off and Kathryn Dusenbery picks up. In the same way, as God sees it, there is no telling where the business of the Church leaves off and the business of Jesus picks up. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that when God looks at his Church all he sees is the righteousness of Christ.

If our blessings come to us not as a result of our merit but because of our adoption as heirs through our union with Christ, so then does our ability to endure trials also come to us through our union with Christ. It was on that third couch that we sat worrying about my mother’s health. It was not the operation itself that worried us; just the news of cancer had been enough. Cancer is a word that has the ring of finality to it. It is not so much a medical disease as it is a notification of eviction. Out were all our notions of stability and routine and in were chemo, and blood work and white counts and good days and bad days. My whole sense of who my mother was changed, from her external appearance to her point of reference as a person. You don’t just get cancer and not be changed by it. Cancer changes you and everyone around you. It was through this time that I believe God truly demonstrated to me the evidence that I have been adopted as his son through this union with Christ.

God demonstrated this to me through his disciplining hand in my life during my mother’s sickness. I don’t mean disciplining as a part of punishing me, but rather a conditioning to lean on his grace and strength. Hebrews 12:7 says, “It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom the father does not discipline?” Ferguson says that, “Discipline is intended to produce holiness of life and character – a quality of life that is pleasing to God, because it shares in his own holy nature.” Murray’s perspective is that we are able to endure these trials and grow from them because we are tied to Christ and the disciplining we endure is for our edification. It certainly was so with my mother’s sickness. Today she is cancer free and we have all been strengthened in our faith because of the trials we under went together. J. I. Packer in his book, Rediscovering Holiness, calls God’s discipline “Spiritual Alchemy.” “Christ will take the lead weight of our trials and perform his "supernatural alchemy" to transform them into the tempered steel of tested character. And God will be greatly glorified.”

Although it should not have been, this great theology of Union with Christ was new to me. I guess in a way it was not new theology but a new way of expressing what I have believed all along. As I hope I have demonstrated, it has changed the way I view the things in my past which I consider to be formative events. Union with Christ has enriched my view of God’s grace and his forgiveness, the way in which he has dealt ultimately even with my most egregious sin. Union with Christ has enriched my view of the great blessings with which he has blessed me. Finally, Union with Christ has clarified the way in which I am to struggle in trials, confident that Christ is my past, present, and future.

One of My Heroes.

Major Richard Winters from the HBO series Band of Brothers is one of my heroes. His leadership and inspiration of his men as told in both the TV series and the book by Stephen Ambrose has influenced me in my own view of leadership and ministry.

There is a scene in the TV series that takes place just before the men boarded the planes that would take them across the English Chanel and to Normandy, Winters is depicted helping each individual trooper in his stick to his feet. I don't know if that was fictional or not but it illustrates the attitude with which he approached his position and the men under his command.

Richard Winters said this about leadership in an August 2004 interview:

"The qualities you are looking for in a leader include: Does the individual have the respect of the men? How do you get the respect of the men? By living with them, being a part of it, being able to understand what they are going through and not to separate yourself from them. You have to know your men. You have to gain their confidence. And the way to gain the confidence of anybody, whether it's in war or civilian life or whatever, you must be honest. Be honest, be fair and be consistent. You can't be honest and fair one day, and the next give your people the short end of the stick. Once you can achieve that, you will be a leader.

It's a matter of adjusting to the individual, and you do this every day. You don't have just one way of treating people; you adjust yourself to who you are talking to. I might talk to one person one way, someone else another. Ambrose had spent a good deal of time thinking about leaders and leadership. He had it about right. If you have character, that means the guy you are dealing with can trust you. So when you get into combat, and you get in a situation such as we were in along the dike in Holland, when I gave the orders, "Ready, aim," and this cook who had been in the unit only a short time but was experiencing his first combat action interrupted and said, "Don't talk so loud!" nobody else there was thinking about anything except what he had been told to do. They trust in you, have faith in you and they obey right now, no questions asked."

In my mind this speaks to a fundamental Christian Doctrine. We are all bearers of the image of God. Winters speaks of respect and character and confidence. These are all characteristics of one who has in mind the idea that those we lead are created in the image of God. Whether we are leading volunteer Youth workers, our employees, or whether we are leading someone to faith in Christ. One must lead with respect for the other as a creature made in the image of God.